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Plautus, Titus Maccius, 254 BC-184 BC

"The Captiva and the Mostellaria"

My wife provided a very nice breakfast for me; now she bids me
go take a nap. By no means! It instantly struck me that _it didn't so
happen_ by chance. She provided a better breakfast than is her wont;
_and then_, the old lady wanted to draw me away to my chamber.
Sleep is not good [1] after breakfast--out upon it! I secretly stole
away from the house, out of doors. My wife, I'm sure, is now quite
bursting _with rage_ at home.
TRA. (_apart_). A sore mischance is provided for this old fellow
by the evening; for he must both dine and go to bed in-doors in
sorry fashion.
SIM. (_continuing_). The more I reflect upon it in my mind: if any
person has a dowried _wife_, sleep has no charms for him. I detest
going to take a nap. It's a settled matter with me to be off to the
Forum from here, rather than nap it at home. And, i' faith (_to
the_ AUDIENCE), I don't know how your _wives_ are in their
behaviour; this _wife of mine_, I know right well how badly she
treats me, _and_ that she will prove more annoying to me hereafter
than she has been.
TRA. (_apart_). If your escape, old gentleman, turns out amiss,
there'll be no reason for you to be accusing any one of the Gods; by
very good right, you may justly lay the blame upon yourself. It's time
now for me to accost this old fellow. 'Tis down upon him. [2] I've hit
upon a plan whereby to cajole the old fellow, by means of which to drive
grief [3] away from me.


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