... You don't understand, because you're a man.
"A woman, when she's spoilt, is SPOILT. She's dirty in grain. She's
done."
She walked on weeping.
"You're a fool to want me," she said. "You're a fool to want me--for
my sake just as much as yours. We've done all we can. It's just
romancing--"
She dashed the tears from her eyes and turned upon me. "Don't you
understand?" she challenged. "Don't you know?"
We faced one another in silence for a moment.
"Yes," I said, "I know."
For a long time we spoke never a word, but walked on together, slowly
and sorrowfully, reluctant to turn about towards our parting. When at
last we did, she broke silence again.
"I've had you," she said.
"Heaven and hell," I said, "can't alter that."
"I've wanted--" she went on. "I've talked to you in the nights and made
up speeches. Now when I want to make them I'm tongue-tied. But to me
it's just as if the moments we have had lasted for ever. Moods and
states come and go. To-day my light is out..."
To this day I cannot determine whether she said or whether I imagined
she said "chloral.
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