I can make love and be loved, prettily. Dear, don't blame me. I have
given you all I have. If I had anything more--I have gone through it
all over and over again--thought it out. This morning my head aches, my
eyes ache.
"The light has gone out of me and I am a sick and tired woman. But I'm
talking wisdom--bitter wisdom. I couldn't be any sort of helper to you,
any sort of wife, any sort of mother. I'm spoilt.
"I'm spoilt by this rich idle way of living, until every habit is wrong,
every taste wrong. The world is wrong. People can be ruined by wealth
just as much as by poverty. Do you think I wouldn't face life with you
if I could, if I wasn't absolutely certain I should be down and dragging
in the first half-mile of the journey? Here I am--damned! Damned! But
I won't damn you. You know what I am! You know. You are too clear and
simple not to know the truth. You try to romance and hector, but you
know the truth. I am a little cad--sold and done. I'm--. My dear, you
think I've been misbehaving, but all these days I've been on my best
behaviour.
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