She was
young and extraordinarily conventional--she seemed never to have an
idea of her own but always the idea of her class--and I was young and
sceptical, enterprising and passionate; the two links that held us
together were the intense appeal her physical beauty had for me, and her
appreciation of her importance in my thoughts. There can be no doubt of
my passion for her. In her I had discovered woman desired. The nights I
have lain awake on account of her, writhing, biting my wrists in a fever
of longing! ...
I have told how I got myself a silk hat and black coat to please her
on Sunday--to the derision of some of my fellow-students who charged to
meet me, and how we became engaged. But that was only the beginning
of our difference. To her that meant the beginning of a not unpleasant
little secrecy, an occasional use of verbal endearments, perhaps even
kisses. It was something to go on indefinitely, interfering in no way
with her gossiping spells of work at Smithie's. To me it was a pledge
to come together into the utmost intimacy of soul and body so soon as we
could contrive it.
Pages:
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
267
268
269
270
271
272
273
274
275
276
277
278