Manchurian Books

... It will be manifest to any one of
scientific attainments that in Neat's Foot Oil derived from the hoofs
and horns of beasts, we must necessarily have a natural skin and hair
lubricant."
And we also did admirable things with our next subsidiaries,
"Tono-Bungay Lozenges," and "Tono-Bungay Chocolate." These we urged upon
the public for their extraordinary nutritive and recuperative value
in cases of fatigue and strain. We gave them posters and illustrated
advertisements showing climbers hanging from marvelously vertical
cliffs, cyclist champions upon the track, mounted messengers engaged in
Aix-to-Ghent rides, soldiers lying out in action under a hot sun. "You
can GO for twenty-four hours," we declared, "on Tono-Bungay Chocolate."
We didn't say whether you could return on the same commodity. We also
showed a dreadfully barristerish barrister, wig, side-whiskers, teeth,
a horribly life-like portrait of all existing barristers, talking at a
table, and beneath, this legend: "A Four Hours' Speech on Tono-Bungay
Lozenges, and as fresh as when he began.


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