But anyhow,--here goes!"
V
It came to me in the small hours that the real moral touchstone for
this great doubting of mind was Marion. I lay composing statements of
my problem and imagined myself delivering them to her--and she,
goddess-like and beautiful; giving her fine, simply-worded judgment.
"You see, it's just to give one's self over to the Capitalistic System,"
I imagined myself saying in good Socialist jargon; "it's surrendering
all one's beliefs. We MAY succeed, we MAY grow rich, but where would the
satisfaction be?"
Then she would say, "No! That wouldn't be right."
"But the alternative is to wait!"
Then suddenly she would become a goddess. She would turn upon me frankly
and nobly, with shining eyes, with arms held out. "No," she would say,
"we love one another. Nothing ignoble shall ever touch us. We love one
another. Why wait to tell each other that, dear? What does it matter
that we are poor and may keep poor?"
But indeed the conversation didn't go at all in that direction. At the
sight of her my nocturnal eloquence became preposterous and all the
moral values altered altogether.
Pages:
222
223
224
225
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
243
244
245
246