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Wells, H. G. (Herbert George), 1866-1946

"Tono Bungay"

"And NOW?" said I.
"It's the secret of vigour. Didn't you read that label?"
"Yes, but--"
"It's selling like hot cakes."
"And what is it?" I pressed.
"Well," said my uncle, and then leant forward and spoke softly under
cover of his hand, "It's nothing more or less than..."
(But here an unfortunate scruple intervenes. After all, Tono-Bungay is
still a marketable commodity and in the hands of purchasers, who bought
it from--among other vendors--me. No! I am afraid I cannot give it
away--)
"You see," said my uncle in a slow confidential whisper, with eyes
very wide and a creased forehead, "it's nice because of the" (here he
mentioned a flavouring matter and an aromatic spirit), "it's stimulating
because of" (here he mentioned two very vivid tonics, one with a
marked action on the kidney.) "And the" (here he mentioned two other
ingredients) "makes it pretty intoxicating. Cocks their tails. Then
there's" (but I touch on the essential secret.) "And there you are. I
got it out of an old book of recipes--all except the" (here he mentioned
the more virulent substance, the one that assails the kidneys), "which
is my idea! Modern touch! There you are!"
He reverted to the direction of our lunch.


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