Manchurian Books

I parted from her unforgiven and terribly
distressed.
When we met again, she told me I must never say "that" again.
I had dreamt that to kiss her lips was ultimate satisfaction. But it was
indeed only the beginning of desires. I told her my one ambition was to
marry her.
"But," she said, "you're not in a position--What's the good of talking
like that?"
I stared at her. "I mean to," I said.
"You can't," she answered. "It will be years"
"But I love you," I insisted.
I stood not a yard from the sweet lips I had kissed; I stood within
arm's length of the inanimate beauty I desired to quicken, and I saw
opening between us a gulf of years, toil, waiting, disappointments and
an immense uncertainty.
"I love you," I said. "Don't you love me?"
She looked me in the face with grave irresponsive eyes.
"I don't know," she said. "I LIKE you, of course.... One has to be
sensibl..."
I can remember now my sense of frustration by her unresilient reply.
I should have perceived then that for her my ardour had no quickening
fire.


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