STANHOPE
evidently expecting an assault on his Department, brought in with
him a stout stick. "When JULIUS 'ANNIBAL PICTON got up just now, and
gave a brief _resume_ of the operations in which his great ancestor
defeated FLAMINIUS and SERVILIUS at the Lake of Thrasymenus; pretty
to see how STANHOPE almost involuntarily made a pass at him with the
stick.
"Question! Question!" cried STUART WORTLEY, from behind the SPEAKER's
chair.
"This is the question," retorted J.A.P., "or it is at least leading
me up to it. I am about, Mr. COURTNEY, to show how, supposing the War
Office at Carthage had been managed on the same principles as those
which govern the conduct of the Right Hon. Gentleman, my illustrious
ancestor, instead of routing the enemy, would have fled from the face
of FLAMINIUS, scuttled off before SERVILIUS, and would never have
lived to vanquish VARROW at Cannes."
"You rather had STANHOPE there," said POLTALLOCH meeting J.A.P. in
the Lobby afterwards, and shouting down at him a few words of hearty
encouragement.
_Business done._--Another gallop through the Votes.
* * * * *
LADY GAY'S SELECTIONS.
_Phantom Lodge, Ascot._
DEAR MR. PUNCH,
[Illustration]
Here I am once more at Ascot--beloved of Women and Milliners!
_Ascot_, I mean, not _myself_, as I'm thankful to say women don't
like me--Milliners don't count as women, of course, being so very
liberal-minded; and that's the advantage of being "somebody," and
having a figure--you can get all your gowns on the condition of
telling everyone (in strict confidence) who "built" them! I had a
most fatiguing day yesterday, as, after arriving, I had to show the
Baroness all my Ascot "confections," and I made the poor dear quite
jealous, which, of _course_, vexed me, as she is quite my dearest
friend! I was much gratified to see my protest against these
"glove contests" so admirably and cleverly "seconded" (I'm afraid
that's a fighting expression) by one of your wonderful Artists in
Black-and-White (black and blue it might have well been on this
occasion)--though, by the way, he must have been present himself, or
he wouldn't have seen how ashamed of his own face every man was! We
shall have the dear wretches wearing veils next, I suppose!
On every hand I hear great complaints of the "moderate lot"
our English Three-year-olds have turned out; and the Vicomte DE
FOSSE-TERRE (a descendant of the historical QUEEN OF NAVARRE) quite
upset our dinner-party last night by claiming immense superiority
for the French horses of the same age--why should this be?--I don't
consider the French ahead of us in politeness, so why should they be
so in breeding? However, the fact remains, that no English Horse will
run in the French Derby this year!
Lord STONEHENGE tells me we may expect the "Dissolution" very shortly,
and I'm sure the poor Members must be glad of it, for this weather
makes one long to dissolve--though I must say it seems to me an absurd
time to choose, as it will stop the Season and upset everybody's
arrangements! These things will be better managed when we get a "House
of Peeresses" at the head of affairs--and _that_ is only a question of
time, I feel sure!
But now to glance at the Ascot Programme--it is such a lengthy and
important one, that a mere glance will be quite sufficient for me,
whereas a _man_ would study the thing for a week and then know nothing
about it! I will just mention a few horses that my readers will do
well to "keep their eye on," that is if they can--for really at Ascot
one does not pay much attention to the races--and in conclusion I
will give my "one-horse selection" for the _last_ in the Gold Cup.
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