(_AS RECORDED BY MR. PUNCH'S PATENT PHONOGRAPH._)
Deadly business, this Latin joking. One speech is bad enough, but
fifteen are absolutely crushing. Still it must be done. Shade of
CICERO, befriend me! Here goes:--
"What on earth can I say about the DUKE OF EDINBURGH? Mustn't offend
these blessed Royalties. Am told they never take kindly to jokes.
Let me see, he served on the _Euryalus_ (query? ought I to bring in
_Nisus_). Travelled a great deal--_multorum vidit et urbes_. _Mem._
Work this up. By the way, ALFRED's his name. Bring in ALFRED and the
cakes. ALFRED thrashed Danes. PRINCE OF WALES married a Dane. To be
worked up. Sailor-Prince: _mem._ _O navis referent, etc._ See also
VIRGIL's description of storm. Prince plays fiddle. Might say that
VIRGIL was poet _quem vicina Cremonae Mantua genuit_. Did this, years
ago, for old JOACHIM, but can use it again. Never mind the _vae nimium
miserae vicina Cremonae_. Prince won't know about that. What's the best
Latin for Admiral? Daughter betrothed to Crown PRINCE OF ROUMANIA. Can
get in Roman legionaries. Ripping!!
"NORTHBROOK's fairly easy. Oxford man. Mustn't mention he only got
Second Class. Never mind, India will pull me through. Conquests of
ALEXANDER, and all that sort of thing.
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