One moment they were
singing of a BEAUTIFUL STREAM, and then of a HAPPY LAND. One would
begin, "Jesus, Lover of my soul"--and when that was finished, another
would begin with, "When I can read my title clear, to mansions in the
skies,"--and the singing and the work went on together all the day. It
was heaven. And a thousand such facts might be given.
3. My own experience is in harmony with these facts. My return to Christ
made me happy beyond measure. It brought me enjoyments, transports, to
which, for years, I had been an utter stranger. The fact is, for a long
time the worth of my life was well-nigh gone. I lived, because I felt I
_ought_ to live, for the sake of those who were dear to me. But for
myself, the light and joy of my life seemed gone for ever. My existence
was a long dark struggle with crushing destiny. Though naturally
hopeful, I was made to feel the bitterness of blank despair. I had
moments of relief, but I had weeks of gloom and despondency. Now all is
changed. I have moments of sadness and depression; but weeks and months
of joy and gladness. I see the universe in an entirely different light.
And instead of murmuring at Nature as cruel, I adore a gracious and
merciful God. Of my errors and misdoings I must always feel ashamed, and
a consciousness of them must for ever tend to make me sad at times; yet
notwithstanding all drawbacks, I have enjoyed more satisfaction, more
real happiness, a hundred times over, during the last twelve months,
than I enjoyed during the whole period of my alienation from God.
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