I chose out their way, and sat chief, and dwelt as a king
in the army, as one that comforteth the mourners." And everything
seemed to foretell a continuance of my happy lot. My prejudices and my
convictions, my tastes and my affections, my habits and my inclinations,
my interests and my family, all joined to bind me to the cause of Christ
by the strongest bonds. And I seemed as secure to others as to myself.
Hence I looked forward to a life of ever-increasing usefulness,
reflecting credit on my family and friends, and conferring blessings on
mankind at large. I revelled in hopes of a reformed Church, and a
regenerated world; and, passing the bounds of time, my spirit exulted in
the prospect of a glorious immortality. Yet "when I looked for good then
evil came; and when I waited for light there came darkness." I fell
away. My happy thoughts, my joyous hopes, my delightful prospects, all
vanished. I underwent a most melancholy transformation. The eyes that
gazed on me with affectionate rapture, now stared at me with affright
and terror; and brave, stout men wept over me like children. The light
of my life was extinguished. My dwelling was in darkness. "I was a
brother to dragons, and a companion to owls." And there was nothing
before me but the dreary prospect of a return to nothingness.
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