It is often said by Christians,
that the reason why persons doubt the existence of God and a future life
is, that they have good cause to dread them; or, as Grotius expresses
it, that they live in such a way that it would be to their interest that
there should be no God or future life. This was not the case with me. My
unbelief came upon me while I was diligently striving in all things to
do God's will. My virtue outlived my faith.
"Born of Methodist parents, and reared under Christian influences, and a
Christian myself, and even a Christian minister for many years, I was
brought slowly and reluctantly, in spite of a world of prejudices, and
in spite of interests and associations and tastes all but almighty in
their influence, to the conclusion, that pure, unmixed Naturalism alone
accorded with what was known of the present state and the past history
of the universe. I say I was brought to these conclusions in spite of a
world of opposing influences. While a Christian, all that the world
could promise or bestow seemed to be within my reach. Friends,
popularity, wealth, power, fame; and visions of infinite usefulness to
others, and of unbounded happiness to myself in the future, were all
promised me as the reward of continued devotion to the cause of God and
Christianity.
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