I was distressed at
the terrible necessity of giving up the cherished idols of my soul, yet
I was filled for a moment with a strange delight at the thought that I
was doing my duty in compliance with the stern demands of eternal law,
and the dread realities of universal being. And I hoped against hope
that the result would all be right.
I weep when I read the strange words which I uttered on that dark and
terrible occasion. I said to myself, "The last remains of my religious
faith are gone. The doctrines of a personal God, and of a future life, I
am compelled to regard as the offspring, not of the understanding, but
of the imagination and affections." It is no easy matter to wean
one's-self from flattering and long cherished illusions. It is no easy
matter to believe that doctrines which have been almost universally
received, and which have been so long and so generally regarded as
essential to the virtue and happiness of mankind--doctrines, too, which
have mingled their mighty influences with so much of the beautiful and
sublime in human history, and which still, to so many, form all the
poetry and romance, almost all the interest and grandeur and blessedness
of human life, have no foundation in truth. To persons who believe in a
Fatherly God, and in human immortality, pure naturalism is terribly
uninviting.
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