He seemed at a loss to know what right I had to
speak so earnestly in favor of all that was good, and appeared inclined
to abuse me for not saying something bad. I took all calmly, and the
meeting ended pleasantly.
9. And now, instead of trying to shake men's faith in religion, I
labored to strengthen it. I was satisfied that the faith of the
Christian was right in substance, if it was not quite right in form. And
I was satisfied there was something terribly wrong in unbelief, though I
could not yet free myself entirely from its horrible power.
10. The feeling grew stronger that my remaining doubts were
unreasonable; that my soul was a slave to an evil spell, the result of
long persistence in an evil method of reasoning; yet I lacked the power
to emancipate myself. At length, as I have said, I appealed to Heaven
and cried, "GOD HELP ME!" and my struggling soul was strengthened and
released.
11. I had looked at the Church when a Christian minister from the
highest ground, and it seemed too low. I had compared it with Christ and
His teachings, and it seemed full of shortcomings. I now looked at it
from low ground, and it seemed high. I compared it with what I had seen
in infidel society, and read in infidel books; and I was filled with
admiration of its order, and of its manifold labors of love.
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