But time would fail me to
mention all their theories. It is enough to say that the wild and
unsatisfactory nature of these dreams helped to drive me back to
Christianity.
5. There was, of course, no tendency in unbelief to promote virtue, or
to check vice. Its natural tendency was to utter depravity. And
Christianity retained such an influence over me, even to the last, that
I could never reconcile myself to a vicious life.
6. Then came another trouble. Infidelity could give no guarantee that
wrong should not finally triumph, and right be finally crushed. It is
belief in God alone that can give assurance that virtue shall be
ultimately rewarded, and vice ultimately punished. The Christian can
believe past doubt, that "Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also
reap;" that "with what judgment we judge, we shall be judged; and with
what measure we mete, it shall be measured to us again." But the infidel
has no foundation for such a faith. For anything he knows, a man may sow
villany, and reap honor and blessedness. He may live by injustice and
cruelty, and meet with no punishment, either here or hereafter; while
another may spend his days in doing good, and give his life for the
salvation of his fellows, and receive only torture, reproach, and death.
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