It was more than I could do to carry out the
atheistical principles of mere theoretical reasoning to its last
results. I was, thank God, on some points, always inconsistent, and my
inconsistency was my salvation. My heart preserved me in spite of my
head.
But if I could not carry out my principle of trusting to mere reasoning
to its full extent, why did I act on it at all? When I found that it led
to utter degradation and ruin, why did I not renounce it, and trust once
more in my native instincts? When I found myself obliged to follow my
heart in so many matters, why not follow it in all? I answer, I had not
a sufficient understanding of the matter. I wanted more light. But the
course of study on which the remarks of my dear good friend Mr. Mawson
led me to enter, led to clearer and correcter views on the subject. It
led to the conviction that instinct and natural affection are divine
inspirations,--that the beliefs and practices to which they constrain us
are the perfection of wisdom and goodness,--that to set them aside is
inevitable ruin,--that whenever reason says one thing, and our religious
and moral affections and instincts say another, we ought to turn a deaf
ear to reason, and follow implicitly the dictates of our moral and
religious faculties.
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