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Barker, Joseph, 1806-1875

"Modern Skepticism: A Journey Through the Land of Doubt and Back Again A Life Story"

As the clouds that had darkened my
mind passed away, it become plain as the light, that if mankind could be
brought to receive its teachings, and to live in accordance with its
principles, the world would become a paradise.
2. I reviewed Church History. While under the influence of
anti-Christian views and feelings, I had read the history of the Church
and Christianity with a view to justify my unbelief, rather than with a
desire to know the simple truth. I had looked more for facts which could
be used to damage the Church, than for fair full views of things. My
mind had dwelt particularly on the Church's quarrels, its divisions, its
intolerance, and its wars;--on the favor which the clergy had sometimes
shown to slavery and to despotism;--on their asceticisms, fanaticisms,
and follies; and on cases of fraud, and selfishness, and impurity. I had
read as an advocate retained to plead the cause of unbelief, rather than
as a candid judge, or an unbiassed student, anxious to know and teach
the whole truth. I was not conscious of my unfairness at the time, but I
now began to see that I had been influenced by my irreligious passions
and prejudices. I saw, on looking over my Guizot for instance, that I
had marked the passages which contained matters not creditable to the
clergy, and passed unnoticed those portions of the work which set forth
the services which the Church and Christianity had rendered to
civilization.


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