I left my
family with sadness and tears, and I proceeded on my journey with a
feeling that it would not be long before my labors in Philadelphia would
come to an end. And the feeling grew stronger every week. The Hebrews
had a hard task when they were required to make bricks without straw;
but he who undertakes to make people good without religion, has to make
bricks without clay--and that is a vast deal harder. I felt my position
was not the right one, and I longed and sighed for something more in
accordance with my gradually changing views and better feelings; but
knew not exactly what it was I needed, or where it was to be found. I
frequently attended the ministry of Dr. Furness, the Unitarian minister;
and though his preaching was far from being all it should be, his
sermons had a salutary effect on my mind. His words about God and duty,
about Christ and immortality, fell on my soul at times like refreshing
dew. I also went to hear the Rev. Albert Barnes, and was both pleased
and surprised with the truth and excellence of many of his remarks. I
heard several other ministers; but the irrational and anti-christian
doctrines set forth by some of them, exerted an influence on my mind
which was the opposite of salutary.
At the end of two months I gave notice to my committee that I should
give up my situation as lecturer.
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