" But now I
_had_ no God. The universe had no great Fatherly Ruler. The affairs of
man were governed by chance, or by a harsh and grinding necessity; and
all good ground of hope and cheerful trust had given place to doubt, and
gloom, and cruel uncertainty.
4. Trials of other kinds came. Sickness and pain entered our dwelling,
and seized upon one of my family. My youngest son was taken ill. He was
racked with excruciating pain. It seemed as if the agony would drive him
to distraction, or cut short his days. And there I stood, watching his
agony, and distracted with his cries, unable to utter a whisper about a
gracious Providence, or to offer up a prayer for help or deliverance.
5. Another dear one was afflicted; and again my heart was torn, and
again my lips were sealed. I could not even say to the suffering one,
"God bless you."
6. I was called to attend the funeral of a child. The parents were in
great distress, and I was anxious to speak to them a word of comfort;
but doubt and unbelief had left me no such word to speak. I remembered
the day when I could have said, "Of such is the kingdom of heaven."
"They rest in Jesus, and are blest,
How sweet their slumbers are."
But the happy day was gone, and I was dumb in the presence of the
mourners.
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