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Barker, Joseph, 1806-1875

"Modern Skepticism: A Journey Through the Land of Doubt and Back Again A Life Story"

He agreed to this. He was satisfied that
there was not a woman in the country that would not advise her husband
to make a concession like that required of me, rather than see him run
the risk of two or three years' imprisonment.
My wife was at Southport just then, some eighteen miles away, and it was
too late for me to get to her that evening, so I had to spend the night
alone in Liverpool. I went to bed, but found it impossible to sleep. My
anxious mind kept turning over and over the proposal of the
Attorney-General, and trying to find some good reason for accepting it;
but all in vain. I had promised to be guided by my wife; but suppose she
should counsel me to give the required security, could I do so and be
happy? It seemed impossible. It struck twelve,--it struck
one--two--three, and I was still unsettled. At last I said, 'I will
explain my misgivings to my wife,--I will tell her that I feel as if I
should never be happy to consent to the compromise,--that I cannot get
rid of the feeling that it would be dishonorable. And I know she will
never advise me to do anything that I regard as dishonorable.' As soon
as I had fairly decided what to do, I fell asleep.
I was at Southport in the morning by the earliest conveyance, and laid
the matter before my wife.


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