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Barker, Joseph, 1806-1875

"Modern Skepticism: A Journey Through the Land of Doubt and Back Again A Life Story"

And now I had not a chair on
which to sit, nor a bed on which to sleep. And the little money I had
was wanted for the printers. My friends provided for me in a way, but
not in the way to satisfy an anxious mother. One child was taken by one
family, and another by another, while I and my wife were accommodated by
a third. And one of the children was unkindly treated, and the rest were
not content; and no house could be a home to my wife which was not her
own; and no condition could make her content while deprived of the
company of her children. And I saw her heart was the seat of fearful
conflicts.
For several months I went through my arduous and ceaseless labors, and
my varied and exhausting trials, without apparent injury to my health.
At length, however, continual excitement, intense thought, ceaseless
anxiety, the foul air of close and crowded rooms, perpetual travelling,
loss of sleep, lack of domestic comforts, unhealthy food, and trials of
other kinds without end, so exhausted me, that I found it difficult to
rise from my chair, or to steady myself on my feet. To walk was quite a
task,--a really painful one. I had a difficulty in putting one foot
before the other. It was a labor to drag myself along. A walk of two or
three miles quite wearied me.


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