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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"Three Men in a Boat"

I went up to him to try and
save him.
"Hi! come further in," I said, shaking him by the shoulder. "You'll be
overboard."
"Oh my! I wish I was," was the only answer I could get; and there I had
to leave him.
Three weeks afterwards, I met him in the coffee-room of a Bath hotel,
talking about his voyages, and explaining, with enthusiasm, how he loved
the sea.
"Good sailor!" he replied in answer to a mild young man's envious query;
"well, I did feel a little queer ONCE, I confess. It was off Cape Horn.
The vessel was wrecked the next morning."
I said:
"Weren't you a little shaky by Southend Pier one day, and wanted to be
thrown overboard?"
"Southend Pier!" he replied, with a puzzled expression.
"Yes; going down to Yarmouth, last Friday three weeks."
"Oh, ah - yes," he answered, brightening up; "I remember now. I did have
a headache that afternoon. It was the pickles, you know. They were the
most disgraceful pickles I ever tasted in a respectable boat. Did you
have any?"
For myself, I have discovered an excellent preventive against sea-
sickness, in balancing myself. You stand in the centre of the deck, and,
as the ship heaves and pitches, you move your body about, so as to keep
it always straight. When the front of the ship rises, you lean forward,
till the deck almost touches your nose; and when its back end gets up,
you lean backwards.


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