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Shakespeare, William, 1564-1616

"Shakespeare's First Folio"

The black'st newes that euer thou heard'st
Sp. Why man? how blacke?
La. Why, as blacke as Inke
Sp. Let me read them?
La. Fie on thee Iolt-head, thou canst not read
Sp. Thou lyest: I can
La. I will try thee: tell me this: who begot thee?
Sp. Marry, the son of my Grand-father
La. Oh illiterate loyterer; it was the sonne of thy
Grand-mother: this proues that thou canst not read
Sp. Come foole, come: try me in thy paper
La. There: and S[aint]. Nicholas be thy speed
Sp. Inprimis she can milke
La. I that she can
Sp. Item, she brewes good Ale
La. And thereof comes the prouerbe: (Blessing of
your heart, you brew good Ale.)
Sp. Item, she can sowe
La. That's as much as to say (Can she so?)
Sp. Item she can knit
La. What neede a man care for a stock with a wench,
When she can knit him a stocke?
Sp. Item, she can wash and scoure
La. A speciall vertue: for then shee neede not be
wash'd, and scowr'd
Sp. Item, she can spin
La. Then may I set the world on wheeles, when she
can spin for her liuing
Sp. Item, she hath many namelesse vertues
La. That's as much as to say Bastard-vertues: that
indeede know not their fathers; and therefore haue no
names
Sp. Here follow her vices
La. Close at the heeles of her vertues
Sp. Item, shee is not to be fasting in respect of her
breath
La. Well: that fault may be mended with a breakfast:
read on
Sp.


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