I do not think Alfred would disturb a fly
for his own comfort, but he would wreck a woman's hopes, a good man's
happiness for the Cause. He admitted as much to me, _and more_, in the
interview we held that afternoon at the St. Denis. I had to go to him at
once, and I had to employ subterfuge in order to do so," she went on in
rapid explanation, as she saw her husband's eye refill with doubt under a
remembrance of the shame and anguish of that unhappy afternoon. "I had
not the courage to leave you openly at the carriage door. Besides, I
hoped to work on Alfred's pity in our interview together, or, if not
that, to buy my release and return to you a free woman. But the wound
which had changed his face for me had changed and made hard his heart. He
had other purposes for me than quiet living with a man who could have no
real interest in the Cause. The money I inherited, the rare and growing
beauty which he declared me to have, were too valuable to the brethren
for me to hope for any existence in which their interests were not
paramount. I might return to you, subject to the same authoritative beck
and call which had put me in my present position, or I might leave you at
once and forever. No half measures were possible. Was I, a bride, loving
and beloved by my husband, to listen to either of these alternatives? I
rebelled, and then the thunderbolt fell.
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