"I never saw the equal of it, Tom, never! I never saw a dog-fight
come up to it for prompt execution. I won't harrow your feelings as
mine were harrowed. I won't puncture you with thrills as I was
punctured. We buried two of 'em decent. The other two were cut up and
played out quite a little. I collected weapons, and I says:
"'Now there are two ways. Either you two can have it out, and when
you're through, anything that's left can have it out with me, or I'll
buy you as you stand.'
"They looked surprised to see it put that way. They were low in
their spirits. They said they didn't want to fight any more that
week. I knocked open the boxes and spread the goods, and then they
acted avaricious, particularly the old man with the chicken bones.
Burying two of 'em was economic. I says:
"'Gentlemen, what's the value you put on your claims? State 'em, and
state 'em reasonable."
"I dribbled out gingham dresses, and hair-brushes, and pocket
mirrors, and colored prints, and bottles of bay-rum. I never saw
folks act happier. I bought up the claims. I scattered what was left
of the goods among the crowd. I got on the empty boxes, and I says:
"'Here's your monarch.
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