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Colton, Arthur Willis

"The Belted Seas"

Pile your weapons.'
"I got 'em piled in a heap and I sat on 'em, and argued, and the
candidates argued. They did pretty well, considering only one of 'em
had a shirt. He was old, too, and had chicken bones in his hair, and,
it was curious, but he knew considerable English, and could cuss
skilful in it. The other four were younger, and they appeared a good
deal surprised with the way I argued it. I says:
"'Gentlemen, there ain't room in this island for a Civil War. You
see it for yourself. Now I'll show you. Each of you five take one
spear and one shield, and get into the middle here and fight it out.
The rest of us'll watch.'
"I appealed to the fifty followers, and they all agreed that was a
good thing. The five candidates were doubtful. The old man said he
wasn't any good at that. I says:
"'Venerable, what you want is comfort, not to say luxury, for your
declining years. I'll guarantee you that. You stay quiet.' Then I
knocked open a box and showed him assorted drygoods, and says, 'What
do you say?'
"He thought it looked luxurious, and said he'd think it over. By
this time the others were willing to fight, for their followers all
agreed it was a good thing.


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