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Colton, Arthur Willis

"The Belted Seas"

Then I bargained with Rickhart for a
passage for two.
The next day I went back up to the _Helen Mar_, and found
Stevey Todd had a board fence in front of her, and was charging
admission, and he had a new advertisement tacked on the fence.
"Unparalleled Spectacle!" says Stevey Todd's bill-poster. "The Hotel
Helen Mar. On her chimneys, with her cellar in the Air! Built in the
United States! Exported to South America! Freighted Inland by a Tidal
Wave! Stood on her Head by an Earthquake! Only 10 cents!" And he was
up on a box himself encouraging the populace, and he seemed to think
he had a good business opening. But I says:
"Stevey," I says, "come off it. We're going to Panama."
He wanted to argue it was an unparallelled show, but I took him by
the suspenders and ran him down to Portate, arguing, and the populace
went in free, and we went aboard the _Jane Allen_. He thought
the _Helen Mar_ was a better boat upside down than the _Jane
Allen_ any side, and he was right there, for the _Jane Allen_
was full of smells and unhealthiness. But Craney was glad to see us.
We hadn't been a week at sea before her cook came down with ship's
fever and died in five days, but Craney picked up a bit for the time.


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