While I was yielding to his
caresses with the confidence of a child, he resolved to deceive his
father and to abandon me after having ruined me.
"His father called us into his room one evening and, in the presence of
the family, set the day of our wedding. The very evening before that day,
he met me in the garden and spoke to me of love with more force than
usual; he said that, since the time was set, we were just the same as
married, and for that matter had been in the eyes of God, ever since our
birth. I have no other excuse to offer than my youth, my ignorance and my
confidence in him. I gave myself to him before becoming his wife, and
eight days afterward he left his father's house; he fled with a woman
with whom his new friend had made him acquainted; he wrote that he had
set out for Germany and that we would never see him again.
"That is, in a word, the story of my life; my husband knew it as you now
know it. I am proud, my child, and I have sworn that no man should ever
make me again suffer what I suffered then. I saw you and forgot my oath,
but not my sorrow. You must treat me gently; if you are sick, I am also;
we must care for each other. You see, Octave, I too know what it is to
cherish up memories of the past. It inspires me at times with cruel
terror; I should have more courage than you, for perhaps I have suffered
more. It is my place to begin; my heart is not sure of itself, I am still
very feeble; my life in this village was so tranquil before you came! I
had promised myself that it should never change! All that, makes me
exacting.
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