When they
had gone on Brigitte followed them with longing eyes; her little rustic
dance was very dear to her; she dried her eyes with her handkerchief.
We found Madame Daniel at the prefecture in high feather. I danced with
her so often that it excited comment, I paid her a thousand compliments
and she replied as best she could.
Brigitte was near us, and her eyes never left us. I can hardly describe
what I felt; it was both pleasure and pain. I clearly saw that she was
jealous; but instead of being moved by it, I did all I could to increase
her suffering.
On the return, I expected to hear her reproaches; she made none, but
remained silent for three days. When I came to see her, she would greet
me kindly; then we would sit down facing each other, both of us
preoccupied, scarcely exchanging a word. The third day she spoke,
overwhelmed me with bitter reproaches, told me that my conduct was
unreasonable, that she could not account for it except on the supposition
that I had ceased to love her; but she could not endure this life and
would resort to anything rather than submit to my caprices and coldness.
Her eyes were full of tears, and I was about to ask her pardon when some
words escaped her that were so bitter that my pride revolted. I replied
in the same tone, and our quarrel became violent. I told her that it was
absurd to suppose that I could not inspire enough confidence in my
mistress to escape the necessity of explaining my every action; that
Madame Daniel was only a pretext; that she very well knew that I did not
think of that woman seriously; that her pretended jealousy was nothing
but the expression of her desire for despotic power, and that, moreover,
if she had tired of this life, it was easy enough to put an end to it.
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