"
One of my peculiarities is that meditation, which with the great number
is a firm and constant quality of the mind, is in my case an instinct
independent of the will and it seizes me like an access of passion. It
comes to me at intervals in its own good time, in spite of me and in
almost any place. But when it comes I can do nothing against it. It takes
me whither it pleases by whatever route seems good to it.
When the woman had left, I sat up.
"My friend," I said to myself, "behold what has been sent you. If
Desgenais had not seen fit to send you his mistress he would not have
been mistaken, perhaps, in supposing that you might fall in love with
her.
"Have you well considered it? A sublime and divine mystery is
accomplished. Such a being costs nature the most vigilant maternal care;
yet man who would cure you, can think of nothing better than to offer you
lips which belong to him in order to teach you how to cease to love.
"How was it accomplished? Others than you have doubtless admired her, but
they ran no risk. She might employ all the seduction she pleased; you
alone were in danger.
"It must be that Desgenais has a heart, since he lives. In what respect
does he differ from you? He is a man who believes in nothing, fears
nothing, who knows no care or ennui, perhaps, and yet it is clear that a
scratch on the finger would fill him with terror, for if his body
abandons him, what becomes of him? He lives only in the body.
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