I was in a sort of dream,
and I felt there must be a rude awakening soon. After a while,
Doltaire, who seemed thinking keenly, ordered the servant to take
in a glass of wine to Voban.
He looked up at me after a little, as if he had come back from a
long distance, and said, "It is my fate to have as foes the men I
would have as friends, and as friends the men I would have as foes.
The cause of my friends is often bad; the cause of my enemies is
sometimes good. It is droll. I love directness, yet I have ever
been the slave of complication. I delight in following my reason,
yet I have been of the motes that stumble in the sunlight. I have
enough cruelty in me, enough selfishness and will, to be a ruler,
and yet I have never held an office in my life. I love true
diplomacy, yet I have been comrade to the official liar, and am
the captain of intrigue--la! la!"
"You have never had an enthusiasm, a purpose?" said I.
He laughed, a dry, ironical laugh. "I have both an enthusiasm
and a purpose," he answered, "or you would by now be snug in bed
forever."
I knew what he meant, though he could not guess I understood.
He was referring to Alixe and the challenge she had given him.
I did not feel that I had anything to get by playing a part of
friendliness, and besides, he was a man to whom the boldest
speaking was always palatable, even when most against himself.
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