I have
no ethics, and yet I am on the side of the just when they do not
put thorns in my bed to keep me awake at night!"
Upon the walls hung suits of armour, swords of beautiful make,
spears, belts of wonderful workmanship, a tattered banner, sashes
knit by ladies' fingers, pouches, bandoleers, and many strong
sketches of scenes that I knew well. Now and then a woman's head in
oils or pencil peeped out from the abundant ornaments. I recalled
then another thing he said at that time of which I write:
"I have never juggled with my conscience--never 'made believe'
with it. My will was always stronger than my wish for anything,
always stronger than temptation. I have chosen this way or that
deliberately. I am ever ready to face consequences, and never to
cry out. It is the ass who does not deserve either reward or
punishment who says that something carried him away, and, being
weak, he fell. That is a poor man who is no stronger than his
passions. I can understand the devil fighting God, and taking the
long punishment without repentance, like a powerful prince as he
was. I could understand a peasant, killing King Louis in the
palace, and being ready, if he had a hundred lives, to give them
all, having done the deed he set out to do. If a man must have
convictions of that sort, he can escape everlasting laughter--the
final hell--only by facing the rebound of his wild deeds.
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