When they were all assembled,
he hemmed several times, and, in a woo-begone tone of voice, split--by
a feeble attempt at maintaining authority and suppressing his
terrors--into two parts, that jarred most ludicrously, he briefly
addressed them as follows:--
"Gintlemen classics, I have been now twenty-six years engaged in
the propagation of Latin and Greek litherature, in conjunction wid
mathematics, but never, until yesterday, has my influence been spurned;
never, until yesterday, have sacrilegious hands been laid upon my
person; never, until yesterday, have I been kicked--insidiously,
ungallantly, and treacherously kicked--by my own subjects. No,
gintlemen,--and, whether I ought to bestow that respectable epithet
upon you after yesterday's proceedings is a matter which admits of
dispute,--never before has the lid of my eye been laid drooping, and
that in such a manner that I' must be blind to the conduct of half of
my pupils, whether I will or not. You have complained, it appears, of
my want of impartiality; but, God knows, you have compelled me to be
partial for a week to come. Neither blame me if I may appear to look
upon you with scorn for the next fortnight; for I am compelled to turn
up my nose at you much against my own inclination. You need never want
an illustration of the _naso adunco_ of Horace again; I'm a living
example of it. That, and the doctrine of projectile forces, have been
exemplified in a manner that will prevent me from ever relishing these
subjects in future.
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